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Writer's pictureSteve Martin

The Great Balance Myth

Person walking on a balance beam with pointed toe.

Let's talk about unicorns.


And work-life balance.


One exists in fairy tales. The other exists in HR pamphlets. Neither exists in reality.


Here's the thing about trying to balance your "work-life" and your "life-life" - it's like trying to separate the chocolate from a chocolate chip cookie. Sure, you could do it, but why would you want to? And more importantly, would it still be a cookie?


We've been sold this story that our lives should be perfectly balanced, like some existential seesaw. Eight hours of work. Eight hours of life. Eight hours of sleep. Rinse. Repeat. Die.


But here's what's true: Life doesn't come in neat compartments.


The ancient Greeks had a word, "eudaimonia" - it means living life following your true spirit. Notice they didn't say "living life in accordance with your true spirit, except between 9 AM and 5 PM on weekdays."


As Alan Watts put it, "This is the real secret of life - to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play."


The marketplace loves the balance myth because it sells solutions. Books about balance. Apps about balance. Workshops about balance. Retreats about finding balance (ironically requiring you to completely unbalance your life for a week).


But what if we stopped trying to balance life and started trying to live it?


Think about it:


  • When you're fully engaged in meaningful work, is it really separate from your life?

  • When you have a brilliant idea in the shower, is that work time or life time?

  • When you learn something from your kids that makes you better at your job, which category does that fall into?


The answer is: Yes.


Ram Dass didn't say, "Be here now, except during quarterly reviews." He just said, "Be here now."


This doesn't mean we should all become workaholics or that boundaries aren't important. It means that the distinction between "work" and "life" is more artificial than we've been led to believe.


Your life is your life. All of it. The Monday mornings and the Sunday brunches. The presentations and the Netflix binges. The spreadsheets and the sunsets.


As Mary Oliver asked, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Notice she didn't ask what you plan to do with your one wild and precious work-life balance.


I would love to hear from you. Send me your thoughts by clicking here.


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